You're a woman, over 40, and you're dating. Why? Now, I'm not asking that question to imply, in any way, that you should not be dating. It's very much the opposite from my perspective. Meaning, I think that most women who are over 40 years old should be dating.The reason I'm asking the question "Why are you dating?" is to facilitate you answering that question for yourself. Let's face it - dating can be tough. If you're clear on the reasons why you're dating you're more apt to have better dating experiences.
Let's compare Suze and Carla. They're close friends. Both are over 40 and divorced. When Suze came to me she'd been divorced for almost a year and she knew that she was ready to start dating. She shared with me how she had watched her friend Carla go through so many painful dating experiences over the past few years.But, what Suze shared with me was a realization she had that I got her to understand was quite profound. Suze told me why she thought Carla had so many issues with dating. Carla wasn't aware of what Carla truly wanted: a long-term commitment. Suze said to me, "I think if Carla just came to terms with that, then she would stop letting guys take advantage of her. I mean, she's just really too nice and too accommodating."
So, I asked Suze, "What about you - what do you want?" Suze responded, "Huh, that's a good question." She took a few moments to think about her answer.
